Jager Bombs

My softball team, the Jager Bombs, lost our first game of the season 20-0 to Walt's Auto last Tuesday.

Pathetically, we managed only 2 hits in three innings. Yeah, we only played three innings because of the mercy rule.



I had not felt so humiliated since I tripped over my trombone and ripped my pants while running to get on the school bus in middle school. My jeans had a big tear but the worst part was getting on the bus to a chorus of laughter.

Unfortunately I was the last bus stop, so 30 to 40 teenagers witnessed my utter humiliation.

This past Tuesday I also got a similar taste of humiliation.

It did not help that when the other team was up 18 to 0 they were tagging up on fly balls and advancing to the next base.

It did not help that I was the pitcher for our team. I had no clue until after the game where the strike zone was. The last time I had pitched in my fraternity league in college I just had to hit the mat behind the plate.


Then after we were walloped we checked our schedule, only to see that out of our seven remaining games we played Walt's Auto four more times.


Unfair.


Walt's Auto had played a game earlier that night and beat their opponent by a score of 16 to 1, so I knew we were over matched in our first game as a team.

I left the field thinking that maybe this was the best team in our league. Maybe they should be playing in the next higher league and we should be playing in a lower league.

I was dead wrong in my assertion.

Thursday things got a little worse. I went with my buddy Gary to watch Walt's Auto play in the Thursday night league vs. Total Fence LLC.

I was told by several members of Total Fence that Walt's Auto is a mediocre D-League team.

My bottom lip nearly dropped to the ground.

Total Fence defeated Walt's Auto fairly easily 18 to 12.

If Walt's Auto is a mediocre team in our league then will we lose 20-0 in the first inning next game?

WAFL (What a fucking Loser) I am.